A particular breed of human who inhabit an exceedingly flat country bordering on the North Sea. Commonly over 6′ tall, sporting a bushy moustache which does nothing to hide their enormous overbite and whose fashion sense is always two seasons too late. They are documented as being the loudest of Europeans, only knowing one volume setting (LOUD) when having a conversation with friends and family. Often seen riding ancient bicycles without due care and attention, and famed for wearing wooden shoes (clogs), from which their name derives.
More likely to be on state-sponsored indefinite sick leave than have a job, these animals stack themselves into state-sponsored apartment blocks in the most densely populated area of northern Europe. Often seen in other parts of the world in their caravans, liberally stocked with chocolate sprinkles (sprinkled onto bread and eaten with the use of a knife and fork), Heineken, meat croquettes, and porno mags, shocked that they are above sea level and not quite sure how to deal with the rarefied air of the Alps. Children and dogs are usually untrained.
“I was on the train yesterday, and some hippy-arsed cloggy was shouting loudly in conversation with someone on her phone whilst she wasn’t watching her untrainable kids, and one of them got out at a station for a joke and the train pulled away, so she pulled the emergency cord & delayed the train for ½ an hour. She couldn’t see what the problem was.”