Blackberry Phones. Utter Pieces Of Crap

I have two phones… personal and one for work. And the day I got my work phone I groaned. I knew from the very beginning that the new work phone was a piece of crap, and as the months have marched on, my initial seeds of suspicion have grown into great big bushes of discontent and hatred towards a device I would not hesitate to throw into an Amsterdam canal, given half a chance.

I’m not one of these “Apple Whore” fanboys either who thinks Steve Jobs was a living God, and to be quite honest, I’m not really enamoured by the way Apple treats its customers telling them what they can and cannot do with their mobile phones and the software apps made available to them for downloading. But what Apple does, and does quite well, is invent a phone that works without any quirks or idiosyncrasies or stupid menus and 50 fucking steps that need to be followed to do the most simplest of tasks, like change a friends contact details!

The first thing that annoys me is the 10 whole minutes (yes count them!!) I have to wait for this stupid fucking Blackberry to boot up! Yes folks….if I make the silly error of letting my battery drain completely, it takes 10 minutes for it to boot up before I can use it again.

Actually, that’s a lie, because it takes 20 minutes! If you plug the phone into the power outlet, sure enough after a few seconds of juice, it comes alive and boots up. It’ll then ask you for the phone’s unlock code (not to be confused with the SIM unlock code which you need to actually make and receive a call). So the phone is on, but you cannot call anyone. What do you need to do? Ah, simple….you need to switch the bloody thing off again and wait another 10 minutes for it to reboot, after which THIS time it asks now for the SIM unlock code. Yay….That only took far too fucking long!

And then there’s the menu system. Try changing a friends email address or phone number, and you’ll find yourself going through an entire rigmarole of menu’s and lists. In fact, if I get a call from somebody who already exists in my address book, but rang from a new number, I cannot simply add this to an already existing contact. No….I first have to “COPY” the number (if I am in the phone dial section) and then go into the address book, find the person and paste the number. It gets even more convoluted if I got an SMS from them. In that section, I can ONLY choose “ADD TO CONTACTS”, then scroll down and “COPY” the number, then go all the way out to the address book and follow the last few steps of pasting into the address book as previously described.

And this carries on throughout the rest of the simplest uses of the phone. For example, I took a view videos with the thing. Now, it does not have any thumbnails for any of the video’s. And when you want to find the video you’re after, you have to scroll through a fucking stupid archival system that has no logic whatsoever. Sure, you can SORT BY DATE for photo’s, so what the fuck can’t you do that with video’s?

And then there is the GPS…..I just hope that you never need your GPS function to work when you’re in a hurry. Honestly, it took the thing 18 minutes the other day to find out where I was. And it had me starting off in Moscow, when I was actually in Amsterdam!!! EVENTUALLY it figured out where I was, but by way of triangulation from the repeater stations, not from the GPS. Eventually the GPS came to life just as I arrived at my friends front door….phew….life saver!

The internet browser is equally clunky and slow, with the need for speed and information never making it to the list of “must haves” or core functionality when RIM’s software designers dreamed up this piece of shit! You want to Google something? Trust me, you’d be better off walking to a library and looking it up in an Encyclopaedia Britannica than waiting for your Blackberry to open up the relevant webpage.

With such stupid user interfaces and slow functionality, it’s no wonder that RIM’s star is waning and that the core users of most Blackberry’s either technology inept middle-aged middle management or kids who live on Twitter and Facebook and IM each other using enormously enlarged thumbs. I can really only think of two useful things for the Blackberry….writing emails to Blackberry much faster than I can on my iPhone about how much their phone sucks….and maybe as a door jam to keep the back door open so my dog can let himself in and out!

13 thoughts on “Blackberry Phones. Utter Pieces Of Crap

  1. I wanted to leave a comment on ur website but my blackberry wudnt let me! Agree with all points made

  2. I can’t disagree with anything in that.
    Both their hardware and software seem to have been designed completely independently of each other so when they’re married up, it’s completely hit and miss as to whether either will work?
    I’m now on my 4th, yes FOURTH 9900 (their flagship phone lol) in 3 months as there’s just one thing after another failing with it. I only use it for work too so it’s not like I’m playing around with it.
    The customer service is essentially non-existent as they just seem to go through the support page on the website and if that doesn’t work then that’s it, end of support.
    In over 20 years of owning all types of phones, the only ones I’ve had trouble with are BlackBerries. The sooner RIM decides to licence the BB mail etc to other companies who can actually make functioning hardware then so much the better.

  3. There helpdesk is a joke. 30minutes to some lass in latin america and still not resolved email problem. I gave up in the end. Never having Blackberry again

  4. Im getting so dam annoyed with my blackberry. every single day when i try to go on the internet it just wont load up and sends me to the black internet screen with a list and then it wont go online at all. So im forever having to take the battery out and reset it and then like you said wait 10 mins for it to boot up. ill never get one again. They are shit

  5. Same here. Really crap phone! I am wonder, how it could happen? After installation of new version (Bold 9780) in application list ( desktop manager) it shows me Browser required, Core Application required…ok, if required there is nothing to add or remove buttons but still shows blur letters, required. F…, how integrated browser could crash?? I tell you what.. Facebook application same shit. and so many many..application world is a greatest cheat portal. 2 years i have being searching just for flashlight..incredible! it says free, but after installation it asks get f…. PRO. Actually the matter is not the cents they sell it for but it has it is own LED , why RIM think that i have to pay something extra? free it means free for me. I really crashed my head against a wall with this f… device. Don’t buy it, never ever… even simple samsung galaxy is better ..graphic is not as BB but millions of free features and really free. Or iPhone, whatever but not that crap!

  6. There’s a reason that Android has almost 75% market share. I just turned it on and it works. I have a Google Nexus 4 and its the best phone I’ve yet had. I would recommend an Android phone. I wouldn’t give Apple my money since they’re just arrogant, but their hardware and software are good.

  7. Blackberry is shit. I have had mobile phones since the pioneering days of motorola bricks and such like so have seen plenty of changes. I think the annoying thing about blackberry is that it was aimed at serious business users but has failed on so many levels. I’m not interested in facebook or twitter but I fo want a good business communication tool.
    The problem with Blackberries is their utter unreliability. For example. One day my phone could be used as a hotspot for wifi, next day it stopped working and couldn’t be restored. One da y I could sync my contacts with google, next day I couldn’t. One day it would ring 5 or 6 times now it only rings 3 times before going onto voicemail and I cannot make it ring longer.
    I could write a huge list but I can’t be bothered anymore. Worst phone I have owned in over 25 years and that takes some beating. Well done RIM.

  8. Love your script. Agree completely. Complete mystery to me how bob have ever sold any handsets. They are truly dreadful. Other handsets available are not just passable, they just work! It’s not difficult just a half way decent product. I wouldn’t touch this company if I had a choice. I just hope my work catches up soon.

  9. Blackberry died the other day,wouldn’t take a charge,had about 15 mins to transfer all contacts to sim card and only got roughly 15% transferred before that piece of **** died.Contacts lost forever.How in the name of God is it so difficult that you have to transfer them one by one??Never again.Fired it in the bin.Good riddance.

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