I have two phones…..one personal and one for work. And the day I got my work phone I groaned. I knew from the very beginning that the new work phone was a piece of crap, and as the months have marched on, my initial seeds of suspicion have grown into great big bushes of discontent and hatred towards a device I would not hesitate to throw into an Amsterdam canal, given half a chance.
I’m not one of these “Apple Whore” fanboys either who thinks Steve Jobs was a living God, and to be quite honest, I’m not really enamoured by the way Apple treats its customers telling them what they can and cannot do with their mobile phones and the software apps made available to them for downloading. But what Apple does, and does quite well, is invent a phone that works without any quirks or idiosyncrasies or stupid menus and 50 fucking steps that need to be followed to do the most simplest of tasks, like change a friends contact details!
The first thing that annoys me is the 10 whole minutes (yes count them!!) I have to wait for this stupid fucking Blackberry to boot up! Yes folks….if I make the silly error of letting my battery drain completely, it takes 10 minutes for it to boot up before I can use it again.
Actually, that’s a lie, because it takes 20 minutes! If you plug the phone into the power outlet, sure enough after a few seconds of juice, it comes alive and boots up. It’ll then ask you for the phone’s unlock code (not to be confused with the SIM unlock code which you need to actually make and receive a call). So the phone is on, but you cannot call anyone. What do you need to do? Ah, simple….you need to switch the bloody thing off again and wait another 10 minutes for it to reboot, after which THIS time it asks now for the SIM unlock code. Yay….That only took far too fucking long!
And then there’s the menu system. Try changing a friends email address or phone number, and you’ll find yourself going through an entire rigmarole of menu’s and lists. In fact, if I get a call from somebody who already exists in my address book, but rang from a new number, I cannot simply add this to an already existing contact. No….I first have to “COPY” the number (if I am in the phone dial section) and then go into the address book, find the person and paste the number. It gets even more convoluted if I got an SMS from them. In that section, I can ONLY choose “ADD TO CONTACTS”, then scroll down and “COPY” the number, then go all the way out to the address book and follow the last few steps of pasting into the address book as previously described.
And this carries on throughout the rest of the simplest uses of the phone. For example, I took a view videos with the thing. Now, it does not have any thumbnails for any of the video’s. And when you want to find the video you’re after, you have to scroll through a fucking stupid archival system that has no logic whatsoever. Sure, you can SORT BY DATE for photo’s, so what the fuck can’t you do that with video’s?
And then there is the GPS…..I just hope that you never need your GPS function to work when you’re in a hurry. Honestly, it took the thing 18 minutes the other day to find out where I was. And it had me starting off in Moscow, when I was actually in Amsterdam!!! EVENTUALLY it figured out where I was, but by way of triangulation from the repeater stations, not from the GPS. Eventually the GPS came to life just as I arrived at my friends front door….phew….life saver!
The internet browser is equally clunky and slow, with the need for speed and information never making it to the list of “must haves” or core functionality when RIM’s software designers dreamed up this piece of shit! You want to Google something? Trust me, you’d be better off walking to a library and looking it up in an Encyclopaedia Britannica than waiting for your Blackberry to open up the relevant webpage.
With such stupid user interfaces and slow functionality, it’s no wonder that RIM’s star is waning and that the core users of most Blackberry’s either technology inept middle-aged middle management or kids who live on Twitter and Facebook and IM each other using enormously enlarged thumbs. I can really only think of two useful things for the Blackberry….writing emails to Blackberry much faster than I can on my iPhone about how much their phone sucks….and maybe as a door jam to keep the back door open so my dog can let himself in and out!