The national railway company of the Netherlands, known as “NS” (Nederlandse Spoorwegen) has stooped to a new low. Not content with raising their prices by 8% on an annual basis, or their consistent poor performance with running a train service, but they’ve now out done themselves.
They announced plans to upgrade their rolling stock, and with it came a communique that these new trains will no longer have a toilet on board. Nobody at NS can explain to the travelling public why the sudden need to remove them, and as you can imagine, everyone here has called the idea “ludicrous”. That is, until NS came up with a preposterous “solution”.
What pray tell is their solution? Two words…..Plastic + Bag. Yes ladies and gentlemen, next time you’re taking the train, and bursting to go, for either a number one, or a number two, you can knock on the drivers cabin, ask him for a plastic bag and take a dump in the empty space in the drivers cab. I shit you not!! (excuse the pun). There was no mention if they would also hand out toilet-roll. The train company were sure to point out that the bags were eco-friendly and made from a bio-degradable plastic. WHAT THE FUCK!! I doubt that’s the least of their fucking problems!!
Of course, NS pointed out that the bags would only be made available to people who are desperate and cannot wait until the next station. Given that this is the Netherlands and nobody cares a fuck for customer service or their fellow-man, I can guarantee that 99.9% of drivers will tell the passengers to go fuck themselves and wait until they arrive at the next station. This would definitely be the case if they experience some idiot who manages to miss the plastic bag altogether and pisses all over the drivers cabin. You can imagine the hullabaloo then.
The other bit that makes me laugh is that the passengers’ association, ‘Rover’ says it is pleased with the proposal. This is the same fucking bullshit group that voiced their “concern” about the constant price hikes, but have done fuck all about it. If you’re a passengers rights group, then why don’t you stand up for passenger rights, rather than simply going along with what the train company wants. Christ……any fucking moron could do that…that’s NOT the edict of a consumer rights organisation. But hey, this is the Netherlands where customers matter not a jot and companies couldn’t give a flying fuck about what you, the customer wants, expects or deserves…just so long as you hand over the cash and shut the fuck up.
Yes folks, if travelling by train here in the Netherlands, make sure you come prepared….bring some toilet-roll and a good book so you can sample the new on-board facilities that NS are so proud of.