This morning’s Groupon deal had something that caught my eye….a three course dinner served whilst cruising around the canals here in Amsterdam. At first, I was a little interested, that is until I read a little more about what the evening would entail.
For a start, it would be an evening of “Traditional Dutch Cuisine”. Hmmmmm, well that’s a no-go for starters. For those of you who have never sampled the delicacies of Dutch cuisine, you’ve not missed anything. It largely consists of smoked meat served up with a large dollop of potatoes and (sour)cabbage – which are often mixed together – and very little else….well, maybe some warm gloopy sauce.
The next thing I spotted was the evenings entertainment. A “dazzling show” which consists of some local nobody crooners hosting Musical Bingo, whatever the fuck that is.
But wait, it got even worse. In the section which gave a fuller, more complete description of what the evening would entail, it went on to describe an evening full of traditional music, or as they put it, an evening of “Shalalala”….Oh sweet cheeses!!!
There’s nothing worse that I can think of than an evening of shitty Dutch music. Just think back to the short of shite your parents would listen to, circa 1950’s (minus the swing), add in a VERY LARGE dose of German “Oom Pa Pa” music, and you can somewhat get an inkling of what dodgy Dutch crooner music is like. The amazing thing is that the Dutch love this shit and transcends all ages. Doesn’t matter if they’re fifteen or fifty, they all know the words and all happily sing along.
It was described in the advert as “An experience that stays with you”. Well, with that stodgy Dutch cuisine, and horrendous Jordaan style music, I have no doubt that the experience would be seared into your brain as something you’d never forget, no matter how hard you tried.
Hilariously though, Google translated into the English one of the first sentences as “Dutch music is ever worse“. You see….those clever boffins in Google know a shit evening when they see one 🙂
Hey honey…..where did I put my ear plugs?